NovaMiracleStar
If you only knew...
Remember the girl who promised not to leave?
Remember the girl who stayed up hours after midnight to talk to you?
Remember the girl who accepted you?
Remember the girl who wanted to be with you?
Remember the girl who thought she had a future with you?
Well, do you?
Do you remember what you said to her?
"I want to make her happy. I want to make her feel loved."
"I want to give her everything in the world."
"But...."
"Your ugly."
"Your a fuck up."
"Your a freak."
"I can't love you anymore. Your ugly!"
"No one will ever love you."
"You can change your past, I can't."
"You can change from being ugly."
Guess what you did to her.
You broke her. You broke her down. You shattered her heart.
You left nothing but broken dreams. Broken love. A broken soul.
She loved you so much. More than she loved herself.
She's hurting more than anything.
At night she lays her head down, turns the music up and cries....
Cries herself to sleep... Wondering what did she do...
"I don't understand... I don't understand what I did wrong..."
"I try my ever so hardest to be pretty, but I can't! I'm just a disappointment!"
As she cries in silence, she whispers before she goes to dream land,
"I'm just really tired of everyone leaving, I feel like it's my fault..."
But she's a strong one.
She'll be okay.
She's just tired. She's just really tired.
All she wants is to sleep.
But most of all, she just wants to be loved.
She wants to be loved for who she is.
She wants to be happy.
Story of My Life (Nova)
There once was a girl. She was no ordinary girl. She was different. That girl did not fit in with all the other girls. Her story starts when she was 5 years old. Just starting Kindergarten she sat alone at the back table with her doggie plushie. As everyone was laughing and having fun, all she did was lay her head down hoping the day would be over soon. No one notices her, no one hears her silent cries. Soon enough she falls asleep until time to go home. Everyday for a full month she would sit all alone at the back table with her doggie plushie and draw. Eventually she got use to being alone. When it was time for recess she would play in the sandbox and at lunch she would sit at the end of the table eating her lunch by herself.
4 years later she finally meets a friend. He was the nicest and sweetest boy she ever meet. The sad fact is that he had been bullied as much as she has. They both were bullied for being friends a matter of fact. Every year from Kindergarten the bullying got worse. But they were happy with each others present and enjoyed being lonely together. Didn’t have a care in the world! As they grew together their bond got stronger. It wasn’t until the day that she had to leave him. Her house was literally falling apart and had to move. Her family was poor and couldn't afford to bring a lot. All they had was their clothes and valuables but their was still so much more that was left behind.
She’s made it to the 7th grade now, hoping everything will go good this year. It was a good year indeed! You would think it’s a dream come true right? Not exactly. All around her was hate and bullying. So much bullying. Even the close friends that were made, left or was mean to her. It felt like forever to get to the 8th grade but she made it. She was….cheerful, I wouldn’t say happy. One day cheerful day at lunch everything was going good until, a bully came along. This bully was not as she expected. Instead of pushing or physical touch, words were spoken that couldn’t be taken back. Those words hit her heart like glass being thrown at a truck. After this day…this poor soul was never the same again.
Lonely nights and silent tears was the only thing she had on her mind. At this point I don’t believe any more pain could be caused. “N-nothing can hurt me….not a-anymore ” she said. Many could say sticks and stones may break my bones but words never hurt, these words did hurt. Hit like a train. She had feel into a dark place at the time and didn’t know what to do, or who to see, or who to even talk to. But that didn’t matter right? “No one wants you, Freak, No one loves you” is all she could think of. That night she cried for hours and hours, her mom coming to her room. She stayed there with her to comfort her, trying to hold back tears. “I-i’m s-s-sorry i’m n-not en-“…”Shhhh, don’t say that, you are more than enough” her mom says as her voice begins to crack. “I-i’m trying so h-hard mama…”. “I know baby, I know”, her mom then kisses her forehead, watching her child fall asleep with a tear streaming down her cheek. “This world is a cruel place for you” her mother whispers before leaving in tears.
One day as the sweet princess was sitting all by herself a boy come up and asked her “Why do you show so much love and affection? Why do you treat everyone so nice? I know that your broken…but why?” The princess looked up at him and said “I have shown more love than I have received…and that’s okay with me. I give my love to others because I know what it feels like to have nothing, I know what it is like to be a disappointment and worthless. I believe that no one should ever feel that type of pain ever….Because…it hurts….it hurts a lot.” He then looks at her with tears in his eyes, “You walk around trying to fix everyone, but your the one who is broken. You truly are something special. I want to know…I want to know what you truly want.” The princess then turns her back and with a tear streaming down her cheek “ I just want to be accepted…I don’t want to be lonely anymore.”
Novas Backstory
When Nova was a child she wasn’t like everyone else. She was different. She always would sit alone or play in the sand box all by herself. Starting at the age of 5 is when her rough life began. From the bullies to her parents always arguing. Every single day she went to school she would be bullied verbally and or physically. Nova never had a friend until 9th grade. Each year the bullying got worse. By the time she was in 8th grade she got really depressed. Due to that she was out of school for 3 - 5 weeks. Her family got really worried and toke her to see a therapist. That day she was diagnosed with Depression, PTSD, and Anxiety. A couple of years later everything seem to started to downfall even more. Her father left multiple times, she was harassed by her uncle and she was told beautiful lies. At points she still believes those beautiful lies. Those beautiful lies left her broken, they left her broken until this one special star came into her life. That star meant the world to her, you would think that the star would stay with her forever, even if she didn’t shine as bright as he did. Soon enough he got tired of her dim light and he left her without any reason. Leaving her all more broken and confused…Wondering what did she do wrong. Many, many times or I should say too many times she has had her feelings hurt. The label she is known as is freak or disappointment. Nova always has a beautiful smile on her face though no matter how much it hurts. She just wants everyone to be happy…..
....I don't know anymore....
I have meet alot of mean people
I came into this world thinking that everyone will be nice
They will treat me as sweet and caring as I do
But the truth is...
This world is very cruel
Society doesn't care about you unless your popular or pretty
No one cares if you hurt
No one cares if you are bullied
When you try to fit in your pushed away
When you try to talk about your probelms
Your either get called a Freak
or a Sideshow
or a Fuck up
It doesn't matter though....
It just inside my head
So when someone gives up on me I don't mind
I don't feel anything
I'm numb
I have my walls
But before they try to leave...
I make sure to leave first...
And I say "It's okay... I gave up on myself a long time ago".....